Setting Resolutions. Do they work?

It’s the last working day of the year and the company-wide end of year party meant it was a half-day in the office. Nobody was in the mood for work, and so it has been for at least the past 1 week! Singapore’s year-end festive mood still beats the Chinese New Year mood - aided very much by the school holidays and wanderlust creeping into everyone’s dreams. Not to mention all the Sales happening in every single shopping mall.

I’ve got nothing special planned, so instead of just cooping myself up over the New Year Countdown, finally decided to follow the cousins going across the Causeway for the weekend. Hopefully getting to spend some time together with the people I grew up with, and also perhaps to have some fun.

The clock continues to wind down and we are heading into the last moments of 2017. I read an article about setting new year resolutions where the author was skeptical of it and was adamant that we all set them just to fail in a couple of months or for some just weeks. It’s probably true for majority of people, not because they give up too easily but perhaps they just forget it altogether - not surprising with the rush of daily life crashing like huge waves once the holiday mood subsides. As if to prove a point, I actually can’t remember if I’ve set any resolutions last year. So does it never work?

Well of course not! I think it’s really about changing your perspective and pursuing small successes of routine. You know how they always say Rome wasn’t built in a day? That’s kind of the exact philosophy you should adopt for every aspect of your goals. Don’t set up your resolutions just to fail because they were too demanding or too challenging.

Instead of saying I want to go running every day of the week after work, set small milestones and try to enjoy the run. You know that with the demands of work, family and friends, trying to hit the gym every day will take its toll. Why set yourself up for failure? Don’t make it something that you have to stick to just for the sake of keeping a resolution. Set your sights on the process, on the enjoyment. Figure out what is the objective first. Why do I hope to go to the gym and run every day? If you break it down, the actual objective is to maintain my fitness. With that I set small milestones instead of a resolution. I will try to go running twice a week if possible. I will run 5km or 10km occasionally. With these ‘guidelines’ in place, I know what I should try to do, but if there are other commitments that arise, so be it. I’m not going to be hard on myself because I missed a session or two. If you see it as a chore, you’ll find excuses to skip, if you see it as something you need to stick to so as to fulfill your resolution you’ll give up once you see yourself not being able to stay the course. As for me, I’ll enjoy the adrenaline of the run and the improvements in timing. There’s no pressure to succeed and hence no fear of failure, allowing you to stick to a more flexible plan and be able to achieve what you really want to - in this case to maintain my fitness.

Here’s another example, one that might resonate with many even though they don’t need to - losing weight. Many people set resolutions revolving around weight-loss, but give up once they see that results aren’t showing. Others throw in the towel, after they feel failed on a few occasions. The common thing you’ll notice in these cases of failed resolutions is that they often set strict rules to follow and rules can only be broken once or twice before you give up totally. What you should set are guidelines not rules.

Instead of saying you need to lose how much weight within a fixed time, or saying what kind of diet you need to follow each day, go back to the overall objective. In this case, it’s either to maintain your weight or to bring it down, or to lose the inches and fit in that pair of jeans. Set small milestones or guidelines to aid you in achieving that goal. For instance try changing your diet and consumption habits slowly, avoid consuming too much sweet stuff, or cut down on fried food.

The trick to this is to adopt a give and take system - give yourself some slack, take it one step at a time. If you have to celebrate with friends and have a birthday cake to eat, don’t struggle inside and then hate that you have this resolution to stick to. If you have a wedding dinner to attend, don’t feel guilty just because you had some indulgence. If you do, you’ll end up fighting a very tough battle that oft leads to surrender. Know that what you’re trying to do is follow a healthier diet, a more active lifestyle. That is a long term habitual change, not a rule that you have to stick by. I avoid sweet drinks as much as possible, my guideline is to keep it to 1 a day at most - but if I do have more than 1 because of a Friday night party then that is totally fine. I’m not going to be too strict because I don’t want this to be a painful thing. This means that in the long run, I will be able to more likely change my habits and instead of a 3 month painful diet that I give up once the 3 months are up, I can maintain a balanced diet over 12 months. However else you might have planned to lose weight, don’t set strict rules that torture yourself, also don’t be over ambitious. Remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day.

These examples maybe a little too small in scope, but they are reflective of how we should be approaching our overall goals of the new year. Don’t say resolutions, don’t set up rules. Know what you want to achieve and have some guidelines - then enjoy life as it should be whilst respecting the guidelines you set for yourself as much as possible.